How To Be A Parisian In Manchester

How To Be A Parisian… In Manchester! 

You don’t have to live in the city of love, café culture, designer boutiques, style and sass to be a Parisian; you just need to know how to evoke the spirit in Manchester!

Being a Parisian is all about confidence; the confidence to make the most of what nature gave you, but chicly, of course…

First things first, presentation. You need to appear nothing but self-assured, effortless and desirable at all times. The key is to never look like you are trying to make yourself more attractive, you need to give off the impression that you were up late having a wild night and you simply didn’t have the time to deal with something so insignificant!

Importantly is the hair, the younger you are the messier it can be, “As your face gets messier with age, you hair can get neater, for balance.” Jump on the tram with bed hair, or even with it still damp from washing and make all the strangers wonder about just what you were up to all night. The mystery is sexy, especially as you’ve the courage to stand out from the crowd.

All you need to accompany this straight from a roll-around-in-bed-look are a few statement wardrobe pieces. A simple yet expensive t-shirt, a blazer, an oversized shirt and giant dark-tinted sunglasses. The sunglasses are of particular importance in Manchester; you can hide behind them when your mascara’s run after being rained on, after crying, or hiding the signs of the night out you are recovering from… Wear come rain, shine, or more rain to remain elusive while masking a world of ‘ideousness.

Stay away from falsities! “A fake designer bag. Like fake breasts, you can’t fix your insecurities through forgery.” Accepting yourself for your beautiful imperfections brings strength of character that is enormously necessary for your new Parisian attitude.

Can’t do this instinctively? Seek out a psychoanalyst, they’ll charge you by the hour for confidence building, which might in turn help you find yourself by yourself on the cheap.  Win!

Nothing is as cool as cleverness. Spend your time trying to look good? Get to the Central Library and you can do that thing called learning that will carry your beauty passed the years of youth. Not only is it an incredible building, but also it will save you from having nothing to fall back on when you’re older. Beauty is temporary, wisdom is for life!

Hosting a dinner party is the best past time for you and your friends. You need one killer dish that blows them away and one that takes 5 minutes to whip together to impress regardless of how much time you have. Get the best ingredients from the notorious Outdoor Farmer’s and Producer’s Markets based all over the city.

When you’ve finished with your groceries, cruise (preferably by moped) down to get the most important dinner accompaniments; flowers and wine. Picking the best bottle(s) of wine for your dinner party is vital. C’est très important that you are opinionated about grape types, even if your opinion is unfounded. To make sure you don’t trip yourself up infront of your diners, book one of the many wine-tasting classes on offer from the Jurys Inn Hotel near Deansgate. That way you can sprout off loads of useless jargon about tannin etcetera that no-one else understands and impress them all! Santé!

For the wine-recovery operation, drag yourself down to the Northern Quarter and drink espresso or a Café au Lait, which is espresso with milk – fancy. There’re loads of great little coffee houses where you can dwindle hours away speaking enthusiastically and dramatically about the events of your week to friends and family.

To further emulate your new Parisian persona, make an evening of it by dining at The French or the authentic 63 degrees, followed by desert from Patisserie Valerie. Finally venture to the heights of Cloud 23 and pretend you’re up the Eifel Tower looking out of your very own Paris – Manchester!